Rudy literally sweated the color out of his hair

Thursday’s press conference was reliably entertaining. Rudy Giuliani literally sweated the dye right out of his hair. The stress of claiming wildly unfounded accusations must be getting to him. The late night hosts had a field day with the rivers of black sweat running down Giuliani’s face.

Another member of Trump’s legal team also took the stand: Sidney Powell had some grave warnings about the real source of the rigged election, which could have come from the grave. Powell stated that “a massive influence of communist money through Venezuela, Cuba, and likely China” had meddled in the U.S. election.

Powell also claimed that the Dominion Voting Systems was linked to the now late Hugo Chávez.

She forgot to add that some of the original code for the Dominion vote-stealing software was actually written by Marx himself, and later added on to by Mao. Che added bits during a drunken revelry, and of course, Castro and Chavez finished it off, bringing us to this moment.

— Dayphorisms (@Dayphorisms) November 19, 2020

So in that case Hugo Chavez should have won the US presidential election as the software was all in his favour. More US bullshit. Did Hugo Chavez introduce the recall clause in the constitution to prevent such activity. ?

— francis o’hara (@frankandbri) November 19, 2020

Those damn mail-in ballots for Chavez!

— jen-jen (@denwanai) November 19, 2020

Chávez probably has WIFI and a laptop in his grave

According to Powell,

The Dominion Voting Systems, the Smartmatic software and the software that goes in other computerized voting systems as well, not just Dominion, were created in Venezuela at the direction of Hugo Chavez to make sure he never lost an election after one constitutional referendum came out the way he did not want it to come out.

Here’s where she is wrong.

Dominion Voting Systems and Smartmatic are companies that make electronic voting systems, they do not manufacture software for changing election results. Neither are based in Venezuela. Dominion Voting Systems is headquartered in Ontario, California, and Smartmatic is in Boca Raton, Florida.

“massive influence of communist money”…

but they keep telling us they are broke, cause apparently, that’s what communism does. /s

— c̷h̷a̷g̷o̷ ̷r̷i̷v̷e̷r̷ 🌹 (@sangor55) November 19, 2020

Republicans before the election :
There is no way that Russia could have influenced
The 2016 election. It’s a hoax.

Republicans against the election:
A communist cabal namely Venezuela, Cuba and China financed election fraud in the 2020 election…

— Albert Lanier (@CriticInc) November 19, 2020

I blame Francissimo Francissimo Franco for all the election interference.

— Cathy Martin (@CathyMaBucksPA) November 20, 2020

Probablemente Chávez tenga una computadora portátil y Wifi en su tumba.

— Jossalsa (@Jossalsa1) November 19, 2020

My uncle Dave saw a seagull on polling day he thinks is a Dem spy…

The U.S. Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency has called the 2020 election the “most secure in American history.”

They released a statement in which they said: “There is no evidence that any voting system deleted or lost votes, changed votes, or was in any way compromised.”

She’s absolutely right, my uncle Dave was talking to a guy who saw a seagull on Election Day. It didn’t eat the french fries on the ground outside his polling location, he thinks it was a Dem spy. He has to be right, what seagull doesn’t eat fries?

— Man Friday (@theonegordo) November 20, 2020

Maybe cause it was french? But that would suggest it’s a MAGA spy.

— 🎶🎸Fingerbleeder🎙🎶 (@fingerbleeder) November 20, 2020

Astonishing. On which planet do these people live?

— tim anderson (@timand2037) November 19, 2020

Trumpistan.

— Kingmoj🏴 (@Kingmoj3) November 19, 2020

Bipartistan

— Revolution Now (@sergiodaroca) November 20, 2020

This is an SNL skit in the making

Canva

Finally, the supposedly “Chávez-linked” software was not used in a single one of the swing states won by Biden that Trump is contesting.

So…as soon as states finished counting, he “knew” that fraudulent machines were in operation?

This is the gold standard on forensic investigation now?!?!?!?

Please inform the team that their White Hoods are visible. pic.twitter.com/UqlPYGqnIO

— 🇺🇸 🔥Sonia F. Khan 🔥🏴‍☠️ (@sapienist) November 19, 2020

Does she (or anyone else spouting this crap) not think the people trained to catch this, the CISA, would have sounded the alarm if this was the case? Now we know for sure why Trump fired Christopher Krebs… to eliminate the people who would debunk this misinformation.

— PJ (@PJammaRamma) November 19, 2020

This is an SNL skit in the making. My goodness.

— EVERLASTING (@supergrande) November 19, 2020

One ‘very strong’ witness. Just one.

Screenshot / ABC

Let’s not forget, however, the “very strong” witness Sidney Powell alluded to. A military official claimed to have seen the alleged fraud taking place in Venezuela. The Trump team even has a signed affidavit, of which Powell has shared screenshots on her Twitter account. Unfortunately, according to the New York Times, “The screenshots were incomplete and did not include a name or signature, and Ms. Powell did not respond to requests to view the full document.”

Um, just the ONE witness. I wonder where they dug that person up

— Revolution Breeze (@SueJonesSays) November 20, 2020

It is notable that almost every accusation or claim of voter fraud that Trump and his lawyers make on TV or social media is either a) not presented in court filings b) not supported by any evidence in court or c) withdrawn or contradicted when challenged under oath by judges.

— mike baudinette (@mikebaudy) November 19, 2020

“We have one very strong witness who explained how it all works,”

— Camila (@camilateleSUR) November 19, 2020

pic.twitter.com/VtVE9AxpvJ

— Camila (@camilateleSUR) November 20, 2020

pic.twitter.com/6JfLwxb4xW

— Regis Johnson (@futurecoach1) November 19, 2020

Luckily, these communist machines won’t be able to influence the hand-recount.